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Tuesday, August 16th, 2005

Subject:.....
Time:1:31 am.
Mood: why...this early.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!....thank you for letting me waste 30 sec of your life with this...
"Unholy Confession"

Saturday, July 30th, 2005

Subject:Is it me or am I not good enough for everyone...
Time:1:33 am.
Mood: I HATE WHORES!!!.
I seem to be just fuckin displeasing people...makin people mad or just I dont know...BEING AN ASSHOLE!! fuck I hate when everyone makes assumptions...see I used too not anymore, I just let life take its course. yes who cares that Im still going out with courtney...maybe cause I LOVE HER!! are you that fucking dense in the head not to realize or comprehend it. I also hate it when someone says "o...I never knew you liked blah blah" BULLSHIT!!! I DONT CARE!! YOU LOVE TOO OR LOVE MORE OR WHO THE FUCK CARES!!! your not the only person in the fucking world who can love.I mean shit...do I have to fucking do cartwheels and drink chocolate milk at the same time to love too?? who cares if I was never into love...its cause I NEVER LOVED YOU BITCH!!! but since I found someone that doesnt care if I act stupid...listen to all types of music...and actually want to spend time with that person doesnt mean I CANT FALL IN LOVE EITHER!!...fuck you Im an individual...I will love who I please...I will do as I please and you better be glad I didnt slit your fucking throat when you..."happen to run into me" next time I ever see you if I ever do...I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!! ok now for everyone that is confused prolly to now I "ran"(yea right...fucking stalking whore) into an ex at a fucking convenience store in the middle of nowhere. I tried to play it nice but of course they always have to start some shit so I told the bitch to fuck off and die...but no even with that she still talks so I say go the fuck away before I hit your ass...nothing, so she tries and acts friendly to when Im beyond the point friendly...I grab her arm and push her against the window and tell her to fuck off and if I ever see her again I will kill her. so thats the story so far...now the one where someone questioned me about still going out with courtney...well yeah you can already see that one but what got me is the stories they make up and for the record they wouldnt tell me who they were so...the world may never know who they were. I mean maybe the reason Im still with her is cause I FUCKING LOVE HER TO DEATH!!...theres no other reason. she is the greatest person in the world...and her being a whore...false!! so if I find out who was saying this shit...I will castrate you. then another one with my mom...what was it this time ypu ask...my uncle is now moving to alabama...ok who cares...no my mom does she wants to follow them, hehehe FUCK YOU!!! again Im staying right here where Im happy...for once. no this makes me a bad son for wanting to stay where I found someone that makes me happy...someone that I love yet she wants to destroy something I finally found. it seems Im always thinking only for myself...fuck you...*sigh* one of the worst days ever, I love you courtney...hope to see you soon...
"Unholy Confession"

Tuesday, July 12th, 2005

Subject:From this moment on...
Time:4:51 pm.
Mood: I miss her....
From this moment on long as I live, I will love you. I promise you this, there is nothing I wouldn't give. From this moment on I give my hand to you with all my heart. Can't wait to live my life with you. Can't wait to start. You and I will never be apart. My dreams have come true because of you...I love you so much baby
"Unholy Confession"

Friday, July 1st, 2005

Subject:I Wish Today Would Have Never Ended...
Time:7:01 pm.
Mood: Im Glad I Got To See You.
Today,I shall describe in 3 words...I Love You and wish it wouldn't have ended. I was...not happy...not excited...I was full of love. When I saw you today...when you opened the door. You have no idea...I wanted to just start pouring my heart out to you. You bring me so much joy...seeing you was like a dream...my heaven...it's all I want and all I want is you...forever. When I held you in my arms...I didn't want to let go. I love you so much, it's still indescribable. There are not enough words out still to express how much I love you. We only saw each other for what like 30 min?...I thought I would only see you for like 10-20 min but I wouldn't have cared how long I got to spend with you...just being able to hold you, kiss you...see you would have been enough. You have no idea how much I care for you...how much I love you...and if you do then you should know I will always and forever love you and be here for you...You are my world Courtney...no one will I ever love more then you, cause there won't be another...just you and only you. I love you Courtney so much...
"Unholy Confession"

Monday, June 27th, 2005

Time:6:27 pm.
Mood: work.....
Sometimes I feel like a real ass or not a good bf. I hate making promises and always so close to making it come true but then something always stops it from coming true. Im sorry baby that I wasn't able to get you what I had planned but I shall try for the next best...I love you A.A.F. Now to change the tempo, can anyone ever tell the truth? Why do people have to run around it and make it harder for them. I never have trusted anyone, and still don't. I don't even trust myself, but I have put all my trust into 2 people most of it to you Courtney cause I need to trust you to stay true to me and I hope trust means something to you more then to all the other girls I had ever been with. The the other is Ryan, call me crazy but I trust him with my life. He's one of my closest friends and will be my "brother that I never had" 4 as long as we know each other. Lately I've been really paranoid of everyone, I mean I love you so much, I trust you with my heart, I have given you more love then I had ever given anyone but it's probably the distance between us that is making me think all of this but I think she's been talking more to other people then to me. I mean call me selfish, call me whatever you want to, but for the first week she was up there we stayed in touch almost every day then after that it faded...I know she hasn't done anything I just hope she still loves me as much or more before she left. Again this is the distance effecting me cause its the first time we were ever this far apart, so hopefully we can make it through again. I feel I've gotten better cause I guess Im being relived cause I might be able to see her when she comes back. Well it's offical I've gone 5 months without smoking a cigarette, weed, anything and I gone 3 or so without drinking anything, I kinda feel accomplished...Let's see how long I can last. Well 3 days till my baby comes home...Im happy for once this entire month. I hope I get to see her and I want to meet her brother too, cause the idea of the navy is still in my head. Well I have to do alot of shit before Thrusday cause after that Im devoting all the time I can to seeing and spending my time with courtney.
1 Obey| "Unholy Confession"

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005

Time:8:56 pm.
Mood: What Did I Do??.
I Dream About Your Death, Hoping That Day Will Come
The Duality Of My Life Is Split
Half Of Me Wants To Drown You In Your Own Blood
The Other Wants Me To Suffocate You With My Voice
Many Times Have You Lied, Many Times Have You Ran
You Run From Your Fears, Your Nightmares--AND IM ONE TO FEAR!!


NOW ITS TIME TO PAY!

Done With The Games, Done With The Bullshit
I Grab The Knife And Dive Right In
Dive Into Your Mind, Become Everything You Fear
Im The Monster In The Closet, AND COMING FOR YOU!!

I Found You In Your Death Bed
Sound Asleep, No Longer Awake
So Easy Will It Be Able To Take
The Life Of A Lier, A Fake, A Bullshitter
No One Will Care, Your Nothing
How Shall I Do It?

Slow And Painful By The Throat
Or Quick And Easy One Stab...And Your Out Like A Light
"Unholy Confession"

Subject:Paranoid
Time:8:42 pm.
Mood: Still In The Mood For More.
This song is about my paranoia...don't know why Im making a song about it but o well....

Crazed, Confused, Insane...
What Has Become Of Me...
A Suicidal Monster That Dreams Of Sliting Your Throat...
I Hate All...
You Talk Behind My Back, Poison The Minds Of My Loved Ones...
Have Them Turn There Back On Me...
For Eternity...
I Hate You, I Wish For You To Go Away...
But Without You, Im Not Who I Am...
I Would Be Normal...
I Wouldn't Have The Dreams Of Death...
The Dreams Of Faded Nothing...
I Can't Control It...
It Consumes Me Ever Time...
Paranoia...
Insanity...
No More Will I Push Back...
I Await For You To Control Me...
CAUSE I CONTROL YOU!!
"Unholy Confession"

Subject:More Songs
Time:8:42 pm.
Mood: In the mood to write songs....
The Rains Have Gone...
The Smoke Has Cleared...
The Sun Has Begin To Shine Bright...
Vision Impaired, Can Only Make Out Silhouettes To My Surprise...
The Sun Glows Bright...
I See A Shadow In front Of Me...
Scared But At The Same Time Show No Fear...
Hoping I Can Make Out The Figure, The Sun Only Grows Brighter...
Making It Harder For Me To See The Figure Gets Closer...
To My Surprise, I Didn't Have To Be Scared After All...
As My Vision Came Too...
My Wish Came True Too...
All Because Of You...


I love you Courtney
"Unholy Confession"

Subject:I love you
Time:3:14 pm.
Mood: I just want to see her again.
I dont know if I have been a problem lately...but...I dont know, I just want to know whats going on. For the past 3 days...I've had nothing but an arguement with my baby....well except for yesterday so that makes 2 days. Well last night when I wanted to just talk to her, but some fuckin asshole named danny....oh danny boy! starts talkin to me and starts shit with me, you know being rude...now Im usually a nice guy but if you start callin me fucker or bitch, and most of all on my gf phone without knowing me I can become a dick pretty fast and I was. So danny you better be glad your nowhere near me cause I would have knocked your fuckin teeth in boy but also being the pussy he is I asked him calmly to answer the phone when I called so I could talk to him, what does he do, he ignores me...bitch. Well back to what I was saying, I love her...I love her so much I would give anything and everything for her. I cant think of anything I havent said to her yet...I love you beyond comprehension...no one in the world could ever replace her, no one in the world will I show as much love, as I do for her. I dont care the distance between us, I dont care if I can only talk to her is through the phone, Email, IM's...I dont give a shit, as long as Im with her and shes with me I can deal with it. I will always remain loyal and honest to her as long as were together, truth is this whole time since shes been gone I havent talked to one girl, other then her. I havent thought about another girl, but her and only her. I will always and forever love you...cause we will be together always and forever.The reason Im saying all of this is not only to tell her how much she means to me but also she might be moving to Kentucky...and all I said is true, no matter the distance, I will stay with you and true, honest and always love you no one else. Your my world...my meaning of life is to be with you and without you I seize to exist. I LOVE YOU so much ALWAYS and FOREVER!
"Unholy Confession"

Wednesday, June 15th, 2005

Subject:Whatthefuck!?!
Time:12:09 pm.
Mood: Whatthefuck!?!.
....I dont know what to write. This weekend might be fresh cause me and my brother Syn are gonna paint our faces up like Twiztid...and Im still debating whether to do twiztids or a mohawk...most people liked the mohawk, but I think the idea of twiztids would be fresh. I miss courtney so much...if you hung around me since shes been gone youll know how much I miss her...all I do is think about her, dream about her, talk about her, and wish she was here. I cant wait til she comes back...but the bad part is that just as fast as she comes back home she goes back to kentucky....fuck! So last night I cancled the green day tickets and might have to get rid a warped tour ticket....I cant do anything with her this summer...its fucking sucks. I might as go into a comma until she comes back cause I wont stop thinking about her...This summer sucked....and its just begining. Oh well I just hope it goes by fast...the faster it goes by the faster I get to see her. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY!!! and hope you do too....
"Unholy Confession"

Wednesday, June 8th, 2005

Time:8:22 pm.
Mood: I FUCKING LOVE "LIFE".
Why when you fall in love with someone so much that its hard to live life without them seem so good......until you get shot in the face with something that might change it? This will be a first but I hope it doesn't happen...Lif3 just keeps getting better and better for me.






I LOVE YOU COURTNEY SO MUCH.........A.A.F......... AND HOPE YOU COME HOME
"Unholy Confession"

Thursday, June 2nd, 2005

Time:9:43 pm.
Mood: I don't want her to leave.....
Mind -
Enter into the place of complex Dark...
Enter into the place that is my mind...
Enter if you dare into the mind of pure hate,
pure anger, an Echoside...
No place is more horrid, twiztid...
My mind is too much for me to handle...
I can't control whats inside, I can't control what comes out...
My mind is a cage, a box, a tomb that will never be opened...
It's a puzzle that can't be built, It's a riddle that can't be solved...
There's a never ending war going on and I'm the enemy

Aftermath-
The war is raging...
and I'm struggling to survive...
I need something now, I need someone to help me...
I'm all alone in this never ending battle,
I won't quit until I've won, Until I'm the master...
Yet I'm a slave in my own mind...
Lost...Inslaved...fatal decline...
I need you now more than ever...
I need you to be my light in the dark...
I need all the love you can give, all the blood you can spill...
cause I have nothing left and falling...
I love you so.... hope you do too

I LOVE YOU COURTNEY A.A.F
"Unholy Confession"

Friday, May 27th, 2005

Time:10:57 pm.
Every Breath You Take,
I Cherish Forever...
Every Kiss You Give,
Lives In My Lips...
All My Life I Wished For Someone Like You,
Someone To Love, Someone To Call "My One And Only"...
Your Smile,
Your Voice,
Your Touch,
Everything About You I Can't Live Without...
Every Day I Wake Up Just To See You, To Hear Your Voice...
It's Now A Life's Goal To Live Just For You,
Our Future, Our Family...
Every I Love You,
Lives In My Heart...Always And Forever
1 Obey| "Unholy Confession"

LiveJournal for A New Born Satanist.

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You're looking at the latest 13 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 13 entries.